Planning a new baby….the first thought…Initially, it is a seeded fantasy. A visionary image of bringing a new life on earth. A part of your every being always and forever.
Then it happens and you learn about the transformation in your body, there is a new heartbeat inside of you.
Wow, it finally is happening! The time has come. A new soul journey about to enter earth is on the universe’s schedule.
After the initial experience of having your first child, gradually you begin to think about siblings. You sit back and keep wondering when the best time will be.
Age gaps carry various elements for consideration. There are financial, emotional, intellectual aspects together with health consequences too.
When the first baby arrives, there is a showering of blessings in all prices, sizes, and sparkling attention into their presence at the center stage. Then, the time arrives for a brand new incoming entrance in the baby’s elite space and dimension.
In some cases growing up together may be full of contrasts with random tension and ongoing battles of multiple ‘who, what and how’ blame games. This is the initiation of a foundation. Eventually, they accept each other with all the differences. Later they may be separate by lifestyles and be miles apart, but the rooted lifelong link never flounders and soars above all of the stages and life cycles.This connection is beyond world dimension expressions…A universal connection of siblings
Much thought and focus are placed in figuring out the best time for another new life. Truth is, there is no best time. There are both benefits as well as drawbacks whether they are spaced closer together or far apart. It all depends on the dynamics of the family and what can be managed or the needs desires and aspirations of the family.
All life circumstances and pathways differ so much, the ideal family laid out the recipe is not in a readymade manual. It all depends on the timing of the universe, and the purpose of the new soul.
I had a unique experience, rare and not common in everyday social norms. After a first baby girl, I was at a young tender age and we ‘grew up’ together. I had no plan of conceiving and did not see it as a practical, in realms of the opening opportunities of building up career and life. When she was in her late teens, the thought of a new baby sprung up. ‘When are you deciding to bring my little brother into the world?’ Not a little brother I replied, humorously ‘triplets, three prophets of the future. Initially, all was comedic fantasy. Triplets? We made graphical presentations. My daughter, an artist, created artwork, and drawings. Eventually, it happened. The little boy was born. ‘A combo triplet’ he was and even the day of his arrival added up to 333…
I always sit back, reflecting on if life circumstances allowed preparation of an ideal age gap for a new sibling, what would it be?
In the puzzle pieces of life, siblings serve as the learning guides and mentors for each other. Siblings are platforms that launch real life tutorials of co-conspiring and collaborating. The unison route along trails of caution in the maze of protection lights, bridges of envy and torment life games. The sibling board game with counseling playmate tokens monopolizes on teachings in the ‘life maze discipline.’
It is generally known kids with fewer years between them are less apart; they have lower levels of sibling rivalry and play well. The reason is that the identity or jealousy has not developed yet in the first child and the playmate is welcomed.
Another reason for the smaller age gaps is parents would like the period to condense into a single occurrence of sacrifice in their lifespan
The National Health Institute of health indicated that observational studies of revealed that parents coped with this age gap the easiest as they could treat both kids similarly. The children play the same games, have the same friends and share activities. According to Baer et al, there is more creativity when children are spaced closer together.
When it comes to childcare choices, the age gap is a huge help when co-coordinating childcare rather than juggling arrangements.
When kids are spaced close together there is balancing the needs of a toddler with the brand new arrival. Physically the mother is still in recovery from the first baby and might have to force wean him if she is still in the process of breastfeeding the first child. You start to feel like there has not been enough alone time to bond with the first baby before the arrival of the next
Obstetricians usually recommend eighteen months as the best time, but then you the oncoming ‘terrible twos’ awaits.The sibling rivalry intensifies as the toddler is developing an identity and personal needs.
Because they are so close in age, it may be difficult to enjoy their individualism and toddler activities will have limits in early years.
Studies indicate (Kauai Longitudinal Study) that neither of the children can get sufficient attention to create the bond between mother and child that is needed to flourish. The first-born tends to feel overly responsible and guilty when things are not in order.
Competition with common interest leaves one becoming insecure, usually the younger one if he does not do as well as the older sibling. At school, the younger may feel like they are in the older child’s shadow academically. Eventually, there will be double the expenses of college, weddings, and all the rest in a close succession.
The sibling rivalry reduces when the age gap is above three years. The oldest has reached a secured independent stage. The mother has recovered from the challenging first pregnancy. With a larger age gap, single attention is more possible.
Depending on personal lifestyles and noting the life circumstances at hand, there are elements when deciding on the best age gap to prepare for and many realms to consider when embarking on the journey of ‘the sibling connection’ in your family make-up.
Comments are closed.