I received a sewing machine for a gift.  It’s a Brother and that’s the brand they use on Project Runway.  My husband joked that I could audition for Mama Project Runway and I thought POST.

Before I jump the gun on that one, I must consider my absolute ignorance of anything sewing.

My grandmother is an expert quilter.  All my immediate and extended family sleeps under her handiwork every night.  She’s been in shows, won awards, and was solicited by an art museum for one of her pieces.  Anything I make on this Brother will be an offense to her talent.

I’m also afraid of sewing machines.  I’m scared the needle will go through my finger or that the needle will break and shoot through my eyeball.

I survived the perilous threading of the bobbin.

Just hold off there on telling me I worry too much.  It’s in my bones to worry.  If I forced myself to walk into a psychiatrist’s office they would scream “ANXIETY DISORDER!” within fifteen minutes of my first visit.

“I’m afraid of sewing machines and birds.  I fret no less than two hours a day about all life events.”

My first piece. I call it “Missouri.”

Let’s get back to the sewing.  Unless you’re a psychiatrist, how bout you inbox me a diagnosis, a prescription, and we can do email therapy sessions.

Now we’re meandering in full so let’s talk about the gift exchange my family had this weekend.  I was soooo ready for this event.  I economically gathered gifts for my family this year.  I had time to be thoughtful so I picked out nice gifts.  My brother and his partner showed up that day and surpassed any of my thoughtfulness.  They do every year, I don’t know why I thought this year would be different.

Their gifts are perfect and beautifully presented.  My brother is kindred spirits with my son and he goes crazy buying toys for him.  My brother’s girlfriend is an artist by training which I tell myself to feel a little better.  This year, she gave me a gift basket themed “Me Time” and it was gorgeous.

Their gifts make mine look like I bought them at a gas station, last minute, and wrapped them with my feet.  I feel bad, I was feeling bad but then I remembered that they’re novice cooks and have a long history of buying pre-made food or eating in restaurants.  I cook from scratch frequently.  But I don’t judge them for what they do in the kitchen.  You see where I was trying to lead myself, right?

My second piece. “Lumpy bag that doesn’t close.”

Maybe sewing will be my new thing and my kids will wear homemade Halloween costumes and I’ll sew buttons back on clothes.  Perhaps everything will look like I sewed with my feet while driving in the back of a pickup truck on the way to the gas station. I can work with that too because that’s funny and I will mine the humor gold from my bad sewing.

I told my family that in honor of my new Project Runway sewing machine (should I name it Brother Heidi?) everyone gets a sewn birthday gift this year.  My husband is unlucky enough to have a birthday shortly after New Year’s.  If you like you can follow my Pinterest board here to see what I might make him.  I’m also adding a new page to my blog menu so you can see what I’ve been making.   It is very funny right now.

My entire portfolio. The last piece, obviously, is an elephant. My best friend suggested the next time I use scissors.

This is such a time for resolutions and goals and to-do list fervor.  I’ve noticed people revving up their social networking engines this week.  I say, yes! yes!  make all those goals, take from your work what you can but never, ever compare.  All people are made for something and that whole square peg, round hole speech.