“I would like you to come to church with me today.”

“I’m NOT going to church.  If you take me my ninja turtle is going to smush church!”

“FINE.  I won’t take you.  After church I’m driving to Target  and your sister will get a new toy.”

Was that me who argued with my 3 year old son like that?

We are sitting together in a big chair at the library.  He selects the books and I read each one.  We are discussing the plot and I’m teaching him new vocabulary.  He is brilliant and I’m the proud mom.

Was that me in the library?

I throw the cooking magazine to my husband.  I tell him to pick any recipe he likes.  I will make it.  He picks a recipe for Brazilian Feijoada and says that’s the one he wants.  I notice it takes 9 hours and several pig hooves to complete.  I’m a vegetarian from birth but I make my kitchen smell like a barn and 9 hours later, Feijoada is on the table.

Was that me?

My husband gets home late from work.  I have been doing laundry all day but when I hear his car, I hide the evidence, throw myself on the couch, and open a book.  We fought the day before and now I’m testing him.  I want him to think I haven’t done any laundry to see if he still complains about no work clothes being clean for him on Monday.

Me?

I will claim all of the above.  Sometimes I am proud of what I do.  I make valiant, daily attempts to be at peace with the rest.

Eventually, I believe I will find it easier to be comfortable with all of  ”me.”  I see it happening in others and while I am not ready for a black-belt in self assurance, I do look forward to it.

Last night, I noticed on her deck, she still had up the decorations from a party a few weeks ago.

“Mom.  Why do you still have those decorations up?”

“Well, because I like them.”

I could see her point.  One day I’ll get there.

A book I’m reading included the following quote from TS Eliot:

“When forced to work within a strict framework, the imagination is taxed to its utmost- and will produce its richest ideas.  Given total freedom the work is likely to sprawl.”

And I thought of Finish The Sentence Friday.   Which is to say that I recommend that you participate if you haven’t tried writing from a  prompt before for your blog.  This week the sentence to finish was “I wasn’t myself when…”  As always, I burrowed out of the framework just a smidge.

Thank you to the hosts who created the semi-strict framework:

Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine
Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic
Mommy, for Real
Finding Ninee