21.  I berate myself.  ”Jean, you’re a sucky parent.  Why do you give him so much crap food?”

20. I bribe my son with cookies in the checkout lane.  We’re almost ready to go home!

19. I fix my phone by smacking it against my leg as we drive to the grocery store.

18. The man at the phone store tells me to buy a new phone and I ignore him.

17. My son crawls on the floor at the store and my daughter cries.

16. I get kids out of the car and then put them back in because my phone fixed itself spontaneously.  Then we all get out again because the flash turns back on.  We hustle into the store.

15. My phone shuts down because it is overheating.  I need my phone.  I’m manning the ship!

14. Re-explain why we have to run errands before we play and turn up music to distract them.

13. I pick up the kids (phew they were fine) and announce we have to get milk and fix my phone before we play.

12. My phone burns up my purse all afternoon while at work.

11. In the functioning car wash on my lunch break, I notice the flash on my phone is stuck on and it’s overheating my phone.

10. Drop kids off at daycare, explain to their teacher our family change just in case they act different.

9. Try second car wash, broken also.

8. Drive to car wash, mess up alignment because I can’t drive in those guiders for the tires.  Car wash is broken.  Bird crap is still on car.

7. Son, who is terrified of car washes, suggests we go to a car wash.

6. Can’t open door without touching poo.

5. Drag kids out to car, notice birds have plastered the whole side of my car with crap.

4. First busy morning getting ready.  We can do this.  I’ll be tired, they’ll miss him but we can do this.

3. Stay up late/wake up early because our life is now different.  Dad has moved out.  We’re not used to it.

2. Discuss how to handle starting a new job now and having to rejoin our family after my job ends.

1. Agree that it is best that husband takes a new job even if we have to move away from everyone.

My new motto:  Be kind, rewind.

It all piles up for all of us.  Sometimes we are crappy people.  I know I am.  I gossip.  I ignore.  I’m selfish.  Most of the time, I’m good.  I recognize I am a product of my experiences and environment.  For now, I promise to look back far enough to remind myself why I do what I do.  I might not hate on myself as much.