This morning, my alarm clock was a little boy who screamed “Look at me!” and then stuck his elbow into my stomach.  That was followed by a squealing little girl who slapped my face and then stuck her finger in my eye.

Tonight, I walked an imaginary moose from the bathroom back to the family room because he was bugging my son too much as he was trying to go to sleep.

I routinely have my glasses ripped off my face when I am least expecting it.

When the moon talks, it has a dopey sort of voice.  When the sun talks, it sounds like a truck driver from Texas.  The stars have high pitched voices that always urge you to go to sleep already.

A kiss can mean a headbutt, a bite on the nose, or an open mouthed slobber swiped across my whole face.

The letter P is forbidden because it is “Potty Talk.”   When you flip a W upside down it becomes a M.  When you flip the capital letter E it turns into a 3.

I sometimes have a hard time talking because there is a hand in my mouth searching for my tongue.

The criteria by which a toilet is judged is based solely on the sound it makes when flushed and conversations are frequently had as to which sounds make a good toilet and which don’t.

This is the unreal reality of parenting children.  The lines of the possible and impossible are constantly blurred because their world is continually developing, they are testing boundaries, and discovering.  It’s an absurd world to live in and it’s no wonder that parents often look, sound, and feel as if they are going insane.  It may feel like a ball of yarn unraveling for weeks but then something beautiful is created.  A concept becomes clear to the child.  They take their first step.  They touch their nose and then touch your nose as if to say “Hey!  We both have one of these!”  They point to a word and declare that those letters in that order make the word “car.”

Sometimes I’m a mama and sometimes I’m a schmama which can drive me mad. One thing that keeps me going is that I know I’m raising wonderful people.  These little absurdists will one day make real world problems that are unraveled and tangled now make sense.  In the meantime, I’ll be at peace with unreal reality and I will handle the moose wrangling.