Team, now that you’re playing in the bathtub we need to have a talk.

I just got all the toys out of this bathroom and I want us to try to keep it that way.  Toys in the bathroom make bad things happen.

Do you remember when Daddy stepped on that Lego getting out of the shower?  No one enjoyed Mama’s screaming when Chuck the Dump Truck introduced himself at 3 am when all she wanted was some Advil.  I don’t even want to bring up poor Elmo who met his demise after a swim in the toilet but I will because this is serious.

Think of all the yuck on the bathroom floor.  You know what yuck I’m talking about.  Yes. you. do.  When we bring our toys in the bathroom, they get all that yuck on them.  No.  My phone’s different.  It doesn’t get yuck on it when I bring it in here.  It’s magical.

So, like I was saying, no toys in the bathroom.  That means no DVDs, no stuffed animals, no talking xylophones, trucks, or…potties?

Yeah, the pink talking potty gets to stay.

While we’re on the subject, there are a few things that must stay in the bathroom.  This includes soap, dirty Q-tips, and all pee-pees and poo-poos.

Wait, what’s that in the tub?  OH MY GOD, NO!  Get out now!

One more rule, team…